Sincerely, Your Unapologetic Woman in Law

I’m going to give you some advice: do not apologize for being a woman in a male dominated field. There is a special kind of assertiveness that can only come from a woman who has embraced her authentic self. 

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I was recently inspired by something Susan Blakely wrote in her article, “Learning from History During Women’s History Month.” What she said was, “I am one of those women lawyers who is comfortable having you stand on my shoulders and who thinks mentoring young lawyers is my responsibility as a professional.” 

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I couldn't agree more. In my journey toward success in the legal field, mentoring has played an invaluable role. I did not have the privilege of having female mentors, in fact, I had very few mentors. I learned by hook or by crook and learned lessons through the school of hard knocks. I put my head on the proverbial chopping block more times than I care to count. While how I learned to be a lawyer had some benefits, it is not how I want the next generation of female lawyers to learn. I desire to extend a hand to the next generation and help assist in empowering them,  embracing who they are, and helping them excel in their respective fields without divesting themselves of their identity. 

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It's no secret that women have historically faced barriers, especially in the vast landscape of the legal profession. While I faced barriers early on in my career, I have been fortunate as I have grown as an attorney to have an amazing support system after I had practiced for 14 years. I was very fortunate to land at a firm, after I left the bench in 2016, that never saw gender, just saw me for me and the skillset that I brought to the table. I count myself as one of the fortunate ones because I found my home with my firm. I want others to be as fortunate as me. Life is too short to be unhappy in your profession. It is more important to love who you work with day to day. The only way to achieve these goals is to be your authentic self.    

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I am who I am. I remember as a teenager, knowing I was going to go to law school, a very successful, admired attorney told me to never forget who I am and never forget that I was a woman. He also told me never to try to be a man, but to own that I was a woman. It was advice that I have followed to this day. 

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I wear bold red lipstick to Court.  I embraced my femininity.  I embrace who I am.  I am confident, I am bold, and at the end of the day, I am who I am, with no apologies. 

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I believe that these qualities are not just desirable qualities for success in the legal arena; they are essential. Yet, for many women, navigating this path can be daunting. The lingering presence of a male-dominated culture can cast shadows of doubt and insecurity. But I stand here today to tell you that those shadows do not define us.

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As a woman who has traversed the corridors of justice for a very long time, I've encountered my fair share of obstacles. I've been in rooms where I was the only woman present. I have been in a Courtroom, while eight months pregnant, with a male attorney asking me to sit on his lap. I have been in a Courtroom wherein I was representing criminal defendants and another male criminal defense attorney asked me if I was the probation officer. In another instance, I had a Judge ask me if my attorney was going to appear on my behalf, when I was the attorney. Despite those incidents, and many more,  I've learned one invaluable lesson: my strength lies within who I am. 

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Confidence is not an innate trait; it's a muscle that must be flexed and strengthened over time. For me, that journey began with a steadfast belief in my abilities. I refused to let the echoes of doubt drown out my voice. Instead, I leaned into my expertise, my gut instincts, my knowledge, and my passion for the just outcome.

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But confidence alone is not enough. Assertion is the companion that walks hand in hand with confidence. It's the willingness to speak up, to advocate fiercely for what you believe in, even when the odds seem stacked against you. It's about owning your space in the courtroom, the boardroom, and every room in between. It is about being your authentic you. 

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So, to my fellow women in law, I say this: embrace your strength, your confidence, and your authentic self. Embrace YOU. Embrace your authentic YOU, not what the status quo or the “norm” dictate who you should be. Do not try to embody someone else. Take who you are and develop your skills based on your authentic self. Do so as your most professional and authentic self, and stand tall in the face of adversity, knowing that you are not alone. The more women decide to band together with our authentic selves, the more shoulders we have to stand upon to grow.  

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In the end, it's not about fitting into a mold; it's about redefining the mold to suit our authentic selves.